Falling Apart

It's amazing, truly, what the mind can do. How it can take the merest hints, suggestions of clues, and assemble a beautiful tapestry of what could be… Or a terrible one.

I think I've loved you, to some extent, from day one. It's been so long now, I couldn't tell you for sure, but I don't remember there being a time when I've lived in this house and not had love for you. It's ebbed and flowed, as such things do. But it's always been there, an undercurrent, pulling me toward you, gently at first, but then…

I was unprepared for the flood. I didn't see it coming, probably couldn't have prevented it if I tried. You stopped being my favorite neighbor who I wanted to get to know better and became… everything.

And for a while there, I started thinking you might feel the same. Your smiles, which have always melted my heart, seemed that much more vibrant. Your looks from across the way started carrying so much meaning.

I realized, if you asked me to, I would throw everything away for you. I still would.

But that same amazing ability to make connections works the other way, too. And now I don't see anything except it falling apart… The fantasy I've constructed, crumbling down.